Further study & Hopes

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     Salam everyone. It's 1:20 am right now and just finished The Exorcism of Emily Rose on Rave with my classmate. Or maybe known as "ex-classmate" for now. I am not really sure on how I am living my life now. Seeing everyone getting a job, driving license, start a business makes me wonder that am I really that useless.

    Unlike the others, I am stuck at home with no job, not getting a driver liscense yet. This whole month I've been sleeping at 3 am for every single day. Scrolling the social media, watching anime, netflix and chill, doing house chores (sometimes), and playing with cats. Filling forms on various website such as UPU, UPIM, YTP, IPG, Matriculation and so on.

For UPU, I actually not sure for what I am really capable of. But i made a few plans.

1) English

~ Foundation Tesl in UiTM (which i failed for iv)
~ Asasi Bahasa Inggeris in UIA - Degree in Tesl

2) Pharmacy

~ Asasi Farmasi in UIA - Degree in Pharmacy
~ Asasi Sains in Uitm - Degree Pharmacy


3)Computing/Technology

~ Asasi Kejuruteraan dan Sains Komputer in UIA
~ Diploma Teknologi Maklumat in UTHM, UNISZA

and I have gamble this few courses which is

- Asasi Bahasa Melayu in UIA
- Asasi Sains Kemanusiaan in UIA
- Diploma Perakaunan in UNISZA
- Diploma Pengurusan Sumber Manusia in UNISZA
- Asasi Sains Hayat in UIA

idk why. maybe I think these are the courses that I am capable to learn but not that much interest.

    For YTP, you know what was my first thought when reading the requirement? 
Am I qualified enough? They need atleast 7A/8As to be their scholar man. And most of the course require atleast an A- for addmaths. Lol I just could never. I've never get an A for addmaths in my whole entire life dude. Despiteof feeling shitty, I just filled and sent the form. It's because my Akie (grandfather) send me the article about YTP. Haih I am afraid I am going to dissapoint everyone. What if I just dont get at least 7As? He really has high hope on me though. Tbh, I may be ace every exam I had since pre-school. But please, its all gone now since I entered new school in Upper Form. I am not that smart anymore :(( I never get straight A since then. Im upset I might can not make my parents proud of me anymore. 

    I feel... kinda shitty. Yeah im probably an asshole right now. It's 1:47 am right now. Gonna continue later. 

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